Essays
Punish
Published in The East Hampton Star 2009
“Over my dead body!” she shrieked, in response to my request to spend the night at my friend Ronni’s, and for a brief moment, it was as though she had read my mind. Watching my mother, standing at the sink pretending to be busy, when she had already sponged the same plate twice, I wished she would disappear down the drain among the foam and slimy suds made by the overzealous use of her favorite dishwashing product: Joy....read more
Saving Face
We are dining in a favorite trattoria, two couples, when my friend Judith, who prides herself for being two days younger than me, announces: “I’m having work done.”
Because she and her husband recently moved, I assume she means renovations. Removing walls. Installing cabinets. But then Judith abandons her bowl of pasta porcini and says, “Watch.”
Palms down, she places her hands under her jaw line, then lifts the skin up and towards her ears. Her face becomes so taut I’m reminded of the iguana I’d once photographed in Cozumel...read more
The Days of Bloom
In recognition of Professor Harry Bloom’s long and exemplary service, his humane teaching, and his inspiring dedication to all facets of the craft of fiction, the English department of the State University of New York’s College at Oneonta established the Harry Bloom prize for fiction in 1997.
He would have loved that I googled him, loved, even more, the sound of the twenty-first century search engine phrase. Professor Bloom stressed the use of words not only for their meaning, but for the uniqueness they lent to a phrase....read more
The Lie that Binds
Shortly before she passed away, my 99-year-old Aunt Irene asked if I would continue the upkeep of her sister’s grave. Something she had done for decades− since the bleak November morning, when Jean, her name was Jean, fastened her chestnut hair into plastic rollers, ordered lamb chops from her butcher, then hanged herself with the belt of a chenille bathrobe—an item from her brand new trousseau. She had been married ten days.
“Of course,” I said, and we finished our lunch locked in a hammering silence.
...read more
My Film Career As An Extra On The Beach
Published in Dan's Papers, The Hamptons, June 2006
A friend suggested I attend the open cast call. The producers for The Nanny
Diaries needed Hampton’s types. “You look like a Hampton’s
type,” my friend said.
“ Well, thanks, I think,” I replied and so, on a lark, I showed up for
casting at Southampton High one gorgeous Saturday afternoon. This served
as yet one more excuse for me not to have to sit at the computer and
work on my thesis, or to re-edit my unsold novel for the umpteenth
time. And while driving there, I even allowed myself the fantasy of
being discovered at this ripened age, like the leggy Betty Grable had
been at the soda fountain. Betty who, you asked? Never mind....read more
In The Light Of Home Movies
Published under the title “Reel Time” in Chocolate For A Woman’s Dreams edited by Kay Allenbaugh. Fireside Books.
Vintage cartoons preceded the films: they were black and white, starring an anorexic Mickey Mouse. Like the films, the cartoons were silent, but the darkened room where we sat shoulder to shoulder roared with our laughter and commentary. No one “shushed” anyone. There wasn’t any dialogue to miss—just the cranking of that old 16mm projector as it echoed through our small split- level home......read more
90 Day Wonder
Note: Finalist in Cup of Comfort for Courage Anthology. Used by the Stroke Foundation of NYC in meetings with families of stroke victims.
A few months after my birth in ‘44, my father was sent by the U.S. Navy to Officer’s Candidate School at Cornell University. He was among a very select group of men chosen to complete the equivalent of a college education in just three months. The Navy called them “ 90 Day Wonders.” In his mostly ordinary life, it became an extraordinary achievement and probably why he expected nothing less than academic excellence from his children. To my father, second best was a close cousin to failure......read more
Laundry
Recently accepted for publication by Ballantine Books anthology entitled, Aunties: Thirty-five Writers Celebrate Their Other Mother
“Come in, come in,” I say, hoping to convince her she’s welcome. She approaches my bed balancing a leaning tower of clean laundry she has finished folding. Somehow, laundry touched by my aunt’s warm hands never needs pressing. There is something magical in the way she arranges all things domestic—never a loose thread or speck of dust to be found in the tidy world she inhabits......read more
My Marilyn Monroe Blouse
Published in Ophelia's Mom by Crown
While Bari can spend hours in her room working on a crafty project, or reading a Judy Blume book, Jennifer is usually planning her next day’s wardrobe. This might entail her need to crawl past me like a soldier avoiding gunfire. She’ll sneak into my closet to borrow a blouse, sweater, or scarf that I may never see again. Weeks later, when driving them to bowling league or music practice I might ask, “girls did either of you see my pink Marilyn Monroe shirt?” (They give all my clothing names) Bari looks directly at Jennifer, and Jennifer, right there and then, could win the Oscar......read more
A Duck Pond Runs Through It
Published by Merrick Life Magazine
I had just gotten over the trauma of my baby brother’s birth (I already had one brother) when my parents packed up our cramped one bedroom Brooklyn apartment and moved the family to a little town called Merrick. The year—1951......read more
My Robert Redford Minute
shorter version
In the middle of all this change, was Steve’s big trial in D.C. The trial that took him away every Sunday through Friday, leaving me with the weekend fallout, shaking with fatigue. Even though the weather was spectacular, I drove to the airport that particular day, feeling the usual mixture of fear, anticipation and yearning: In a few weeks, Steve and I would be married. We hoped our remarriage would solidify us as a family—help us to create a bond with our four children. We knew we had a difficult task ahead, caring and raising four children under the age of six......read more
Pop Quiz
Chocolate For Teens, published by Simon and Schuster
One Friday afternoon, he strode into the classroom and stared us all down.
With the weekend approaching, we were running up the aisles, exchanging
notes and pokes—perhaps a bit too rambunctious for him to handle.
“Take out a piece of paper,” he said in a slow drawl exactly
like John Wayne. “Now!” ...read more
The Runaway
The instant e-mail from Miami reported: Dad’s been missing for
six hours. At once, I was besieged by a terrifying image—my father’s
sun-spotted face imprinted on a quart of skim.
When I called for details, my brother tried pacifying me by reciting some
of our father’s prior extended escapes. “Remember his trip
to the super mall at Sawgrass and his jaunt at jai alai? Hey, I bet he’s
at the ER having that mole checked!” But when Dad failed to return
home for the Monday night movie, we made dozens of calls, all futile,
pursuing his whereabouts....read more